How Positive Thinking Really Works

When it comes to positive thinking as a route to becoming something we've all heard it in one way or another.

• Mahatma Gandhi said “a man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”
• Steven Covey, in "Seven Habits", talks about the upward spiral of being, changing, and seeing; how perception and being are intrinsically linked.
• David Taylor, the author of "The Naked Leader" explains "the most powerful way to make any change in our life is to act as if that change has already been made."
• German psychiatrist Johannes Schultz used this principle, called Autogenic Conditioning, to help German Olympians in the 40s and 50s visualise victoryand then achieve it, with remarkable success.
• NLP has a process based on this principle called Guided Visualization which takes people to their ideal state, helps them work out how they got there, and brings them back to the present with a way to achieve their goals.
• Conventional wisdom urges all of us to "do our bosses job" which we will then receive by naturally growing into the role.

And the list goes on. Undoubtedly there is a natural principle at work in the universe that people's vision of themselves causes them to act in certain ways which causes a reality to happen or vice-versa. Taken at its worst, this principle is bandied by pseudo-consultants and ex-car-salesman-turned-life-coaches as mere positive thinking where all of us can become supermodel millionaires just by wishing it so. As an intelligent and rational person, how do you realistically drive the fine line between delusion and pessimism?

A great way of seeing this principle at work is, strangely, popular reality shows. Programmes like the X Factor (in the UK) and American Idol (in the US) show the difference between wanting to be made into something and being something that can be made.

Plotting Ability and Self-Perception against each other we get four types of people. The blue band dictates Reality—where perception=ability. Quadrants 2 and 3, the Self-Saboteurs and the Delusional are off reality and will be forced back on (by fulfilment or a reality check) or will stay out of touch for ever and be branded as crazy by people who see the mismatch. Let's take a look at each quadrant in reverse order using clips from first-round X Factor auditions (which are live):

4. Superstars

These people are good and know it. They haven't just arrived at this state, but have followed a long path of improvement based on reaffirmation (from themselves and others) and lots of practice. They are already performing at the level they need to perform for success, but may need a break—in this case a record deal, but in your case the right contact, the right job or other opportunity. Clip 1 Clip 2 (links open new windows)

3. Self Saboteurs

Good, but don't believe it. They have real talent but for whatever reason lack the ability to capitalize. This may be due to external factors such as emotional abuse or criticism, or plain self doubt. Whatever the reason there is a strong psychological urge to validate oneself, or make people see you how you see yourself to prove yourself right. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sports coaches focus on moving people from this area when the tiniest doubt has huge effects. Also note that this is the only clip from a later stage of the competition as people sometimes need a little time to self-destruct. This contestant has amazing ability but just doesn't believe it, which breaks your heart. Clip 3

2. Delusional

Bad, but convinced they are good. Reality shows get a lot of traction from these, especially as generally only quadrants 4 and 2 self-select and audition (both sets believe they are good). This is where the issue of positive thinking becomes dangerous. Clip 4 and Clip 5 are good examples of people who believe they are much better than they really are. The real difference between them and the Superstars, other than talent, is the length of that belief; People who truly believe they are great singers sing everywhere all the time. People who are momentarily delusional convince themselves and hype themselves up for the moment. They haven't had the practice or the internal or external reaffirmation. They haven't tested it out, but think, "I could be wonderful at that" and convince themselves that positive thinking alone will carry them. They are lying to themselves and deep down they know it. On the other hand, I love this example Clip 6 which illustrates someone who only has middling to poor talent but has obviously gone the whole hog in positive thinking—in the long term and the short term—to become entertaining. He actually made it through this audition and two more cuts to the last 30 based on true (sustained) self belief which exceeded his skill. This demonstrated that that PMA (positive mental attitude), if truly believed and acted on consistently, can make up somewhat for present skill—but never completely. Either you will gain the skill, or you will need to move on.

1. Average Joes

Not particularly good and know it. In the context of a singing competition this is most of us. Generally this group do not try out for the X Factor. Still, some say "what the heck, I've got nothing to lose" and go for it anyway. This latter group, like the pair in this clip Clip 7 are hoping for a miracle. They want people to see intrinsic worth or to take pity and take them and turn them into something. In the worst case, people in this category are lazy and want to bypass the work and uncertainty of hoping, trying, seeing and becoming that the Superstars have already gone through on their own.

Correcting Back to Reality

There are two ways to correct back to reality: 1. Reality Check, where you align your vision of yourself with your present skills. 2. Fulfilment, where your present skills catch up with your vision of yourself (in both the short term and long term). Notice that Saboteurs need to reality check, while the Delusional need to fulfil. The hard part is that in reality the opposite tends to happen. People don't like it when others believe they are better than they are and as a group we all try to put people back into their boxes. This is primate dominance and we learn it as children and use it all our lives. Even more cruelly, we're not good at finding the Self-Saboteurs and helping them. They tend to hide their talents because they don't believe they are good enough. They receive no encouragement from those around them because their friends and family don't see any evidence of talent and may also hinder growth in a misguided attempt to protect. Sadly, some people in this category are surrounded by cruel or small-minded people who work consciously to keep them down for their own selfish reasons (which is generally how this group gets into this state of mind in the first place, especially in the under-privileged).

In the clamouring of the real world, 99% of forces pull people back to the black hole of Quadrant 1: Average, with everyone else.

Have Courage: Think, Act, Be

This is why positive thinking becomes a real principle that will elevate you to where you want to be, but only when treated as a verb, not a noun. To improve what you are you have to believe then act, then believe some more and act again; You can only truly believe in something that is real, then you have to have the courage to step out into the darkness to see if it is real or not. In a chicken-and-egg scenario of what comes first, achieving and believing, believing always precedes, (with achieving before believing happening rarely, as when you have the right family relations, or people who are willing to elevate you significantly above your ability).

And to answer the quacks, you don't have unlimited potential in every area, but all of us have more potential than we are able to fully realise in one lifetime, so in that sense, it may as well be limitless. The key is finding where your strengths are and courageously going after them. We can all be a Superstar, but not all of us can sing.